the writings of a mind

Genre: Adventure
Strap: Hasbro, in the developers' studio, with the computer game

Cluedo isnít perhaps the most lively and entertaining of the board games decorating the shelves of your local toy shop. So to replicate it on a computer would be near pointless. Thank goodness Hasbro havenít then. But instead they have made a rendered graphic adventure based on the license. Oh bollocks.

Perhaps you should have the games full title: Cluedo Chronicles Ė Fatal Illusion Ė Mystery Series: Episode One. Catchy huh? But it isnít the length that should immediately raises the hackles on the back of a neck; itís the presence of the words "Episode One". At the least, this is optimistic, at most, it is downright daft. Not only does it wreak of naÔve pride, but it also bellows, "Thereís more of this to come". And believe me, you donít want any more. You donít want this much either. None of it, in fact. Less than that. Pretend you never even heard of it. Turn the page. Now. Phew.

So now no one is reading, this will become like an average Friday night for me. A man on his own shouting about why things are rubbish and how life is just crappy, being ignored by the slightly scared looking people standing around him.

Perhaps I am being unfair on Cluedo, perhaps it doesnít deserve to bare the brunt of such scorn that could be laid upon the genre of rendered adventures as a whole. But itís too late now, so the job may as well be finished.

You glide around rendered scenes, talking endlessly to boring rendered characters with awful fake British accents about nothing of interest, trying to solve a murder that you end up wishing you had committed yourself in the first place. It is claimed that this game is for children. That is a pathetic defence, inevitably invented once the developers realised quite how bad their product was. "Say itís for children, theyíll play anything". Except they wonít. Children are far more critical of games than anyone else, and they certainly have better things to do than sit through the tedious conversations this game is entirely comprised of.

 Yet another imagination-less adventure to put in the pile


Tech Specs:

Publisher: Hasbro
Developer: Hasbro (in house)
Price: £20